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More from ~BelleJalousie

I Face The World I face life saying reality and truth are both fantasies and lies. That's how I get through the toughest things; blanketing everything with a thick coat of bright and happy paint so I don't have to see it's true, black color. But you know what? Covering it up doesn't make it something else; it doesn't make it go away.

I look at my emotions and lie to their face. I know why I'm upset half the time, but I don't want everyone else to know. You want to know why? I'm sure you don't. I don't even know why. ..or, perhaps, I really do. When I'm sad because I believe a close friend of mine and I are growing apart, or when I'm mad because of jealousy,
To Be Perfect To Me They were talking to each other,
Happy as can be.
Hand in hand, eyes meeting eyes,
Then, he got down on his knee.

He said, "I love you, babe.
Every single part.
Your  mood swings, your temper.
I love you with all my heart."

She smiled, a tear in her eye
As she listened to him say.
"I want to hold you and kiss you,
Cuddle where you lay."

"And I know you're not perfect.
But I really want you to see.
You don't have to be perfect,
To be perfect to me."

"Will you marry me, my love?
I'll forever be your king."
He smiled and squeezed her hand
And pulled out a small ring.

Her eyes looked down to his
And her head nodded fast.
He
When We Say Goodbye Will you kiss my lips
And hold my fingertips?
Will you hold me close
And argue who loves who most?

Will you penetrate my mind,
And send a shiver down my spine?
Will you get rid of my pain,
As I cry out your name in vain?

Will take my hand
And help me so I can stand?
Will you be here with me
And help so I can see?

Will you look into my eyes
And hypnotize?
Will you be my light
And will we never fight?

And even though you're a man
And all you want is to hold my hand.
Will you cry
When we say goodbye?
Don't Want To I see the scars
But I don't understand.
I stare in shock
As I drop her hand.

It's so small
But it means so much.
And I bet it stings
To the very touch.

She seemed so happy.
It doesn't make sense.
And as I look at it longer
My body begins to tense.

She said she was pissed
At everything in the world.
And I get the mental image
Of her in a corner, curled.

I can't help but see
That blade at her wrist.
And I can't help but want
To punch in reality with a fist.

I see the blood dripping
The tears falling from her eyes.
What brought her to this?
Was it someone else's lies?

I ask her why it happened.
And it brings me lower tha
Wasteland All trees are now weeping willows
For we ignore their cries.
Their arms are outstretched towards us
As they shrink from the highest of highs.

All the flowers wither away
Petals fragile to the touch.
Their stems bending and breaking
As their colored voices hush.

Nature turns to useless dirt
As our world becomes a wasteland.
And wind no longer tells it's story
For we wont reach out a hand.

As we sit and do nothing at all
Nature's cries begin to fade.
Weeping willows go, flowers die.
Because not one attempt to save was made

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November 22, 2010
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My Mistake

by ~BelleJalousie

I jumped into this too soon.
But, God, I thought it was right.
I thought it was my place to be.
I thought I'd give you light.

I know you're troubled, baby.
You've suffered too much for your age.
And, however cliche'd this sounds,
You've always been stuck in a cage.

I was hoping to be the girl to help.
The one who'd replace all your drugs.
The one who could make you happy,
with words, kisses, and hugs.

But, to be dreadfully honest, dear.
The more time that passes, I think I was wrong.
I shouldn't have opened up or trusted you.
Already, this has gone on for too long.

It was my mistake to let you in.
It was wrong to give you a second try.
I don't blame you for any of this.
But I can't be there when you cry.

I'm sorry for telling you that I loved you.
It's not true. Not anymore.
Not the way that you say you love me, at least.
But that could be a lie. Another part of my heart you tore.

But I don't blame you, though I should.
I don't have the heart to hate you.
I don't have the strength to block you out.
I wont say, anymore, that I love you, too.

I wont have to hear you say that you don't deserve me.
No longer will you tell me that I don't understand.
I wont have to defend you when my friends say you're mean.
And I'll no longer walk this hard road, holding your hand.

Your lies were enough to tear me to pieces.
Believe it or not, when I said it was okay, it wasn't true.
And yet, I still smiled and forgave you every time.
I still thought that I'd grow to really love you.

It was my mistake. I don't blame you. So I'm sorry for that. But I'm going to be selfish for once and say that it's not me. It's you.
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New ID by ~BelleJalousie
Simplest of Terms To put it in the simplest of terms,
I don't want to talk.
I don't want to laugh and smile,
or pretend that it's okay.

It's harder than I make it out to be,
letting you think that I don't mind.
That I can wait, that it's alright.
That I'm happy every time we talk.

It's wearing and tearing me down,
hurting more and more when I realize
that you're not interested anymore.
I guess time is enough for some people.

If I truly moved on, I'd be able to
say your name without wanting to sigh.
Talk about you, without wanting to cry.
Think about you, without wanting to scream..

Though I'm able to forget sometimes,
as long as we don't speakSimplest of Terms by ~BelleJalousie
My Mistake I jumped into this too soon.
But, God, I thought it was right.
I thought it was my place to be.
I thought I'd give you light.

I know you're troubled, baby.
You've suffered too much for your age.
And, however cliche'd this sounds,
You've always been stuck in a cage.

I was hoping to be the girl to help.
The one who'd replace all your drugs.
The one who could make you happy,
with words, kisses, and hugs.

But, to be dreadfully honest, dear.
The more time that passes, I think I was wrong.
I shouldn't have opened up or trusted you.
Already, this has gone on for too long.

It was my mistake to let you in.
It was wrong to give you a sMy Mistake by ~BelleJalousie
All The Doubt Your eyes are the stars in the world above,
the sound of your breath becomes my lullaby.
Don't stop singing your song; I don't want to wake,
I don't want to wake from this dream.

And yet as the butterflies set in my stomach,
I have a feeling of dread because I know
this probably wont last long.
You're simply a temporary comfort.

Sway me as the wind sways the trees,
and keep me close to your heart.
Because the beating, the rhythm,
is what keeps me smiling.

And there are days where I feel I'm losing you.
Where your hand becomes slippery, distant.
And I wonder, if I stop trying..
will you remember me, will you still love me?

BecaAll The Doubt by ~BelleJalousie
Kandi I was excited; my family and I were going on a camping trip over the weekend for the Fourth of July. We planned to walk down to the nearby train tracks, and tape pennies onto them so they'd flatten when the train went by. We planned to go out and watch fireworks, to go on walks with our animals and laugh at everything.

Everything was perfect, on Friday. The animals were perky, my family was happy, and we were ready to spend a few days away from the world, to enjoy ourselves. Aside from my cat, Lucen, and one of my puppies, Kandi, getting car sick, everything was a go. We were all packed with our favorite snacks, and our camping clothes, and Kandi by ~BelleJalousie
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